As parents we are always concerned about teaching our children to be kind. During December, the season of kindness, I see a lot of ideas for parents on how to instill the giving spirit in their children. There are advent calendars that give your child one kind deed to do each day. There are projects that teach children to be giving. When my children were young, I did a Christmas Day project each year. During December we would spend time making decorations that we would take to a nursing home on Christmas Day and give to the residents. It was a good project and it made Christmas Day more meaningful to the boys. But I would have to say that it did not teach the boys to be giving on a daily basis.
What I wanted as a parent was to have children who were kind and caring every day. It is important that children learn that kindness is a way of being, not simply a once a year activity. But parents have to take time to teach children to be kind. Children, and adults, can get busy with their own agenda and not even notice when someone needs a little help.
Because we are so caught up in our own world, the first step in learning to be kind is to teach your children to be observant and notice when people need help. It is the simplest lesson but it will make such a difference in your child’s life.
My husband taught my children to be kind by just being that way himself. A striking lesson happened in December when we were driving through a busy city going to the mall. We had to take a left and cross traffic to get to the mall. The light did not have an arrow so you just had to wait until all the lanes were clear and then make the turn quickly. To make it even more difficult there was a diagonal street that also was crossing the intersection. When we pulled up to the left lane to turn there were several cars in front of us. The first car trying to make the turn was obviously having trouble. The horns started blaring and the frustrated Christmas shoppers had little patience with the hesitant driver.
My husband, who was driving, noticed that it was an elderly woman and three friends who were simply scared to make that turn. They just couldn’t get their courage up to pull out quickly. The longer they waited, the worse it got. So my husband put our car in park, got out, went and stood in front of the ladies’ car, stopped all six lanes of traffic and waved them on. Once everyone was aware of the problem, all the traffic came to a standstill and the Christmas spirit took over. It wasn’t that no one cared. It was simply that no one else had taken the time to see that someone needed help. Everyone was caught up in their own needs and it never occurred to them to look and see if they could help. The ladies cautiously pulled into the mall waving and laughing as they went and, as they say, all was right with the world.
The lesson you need to teach your children is to watch and help. It isn’t the big things that matter, just the small kindness along the way. Teach your children to notice that someone is struggling to open a door and show them how to step ahead and do it for them. Teach them to notice that someone is having difficulty getting packages in the car and show them how to give them a hand. Show them how walk next to someone who is walking slowly across the street or walking slowly into the store. Teach them how to smile and chat as you walk together.
Young children and children who have disabilities are often not given the opportunity to help others because we are so used to helping them. But everyone feels good when they help someone else and every feels good when they get a little help along the way.
During this season, teach your children to help others by watching and reaching out to people they see every day. Knowing how to be kind, will serve them well everywhere they go.